Part 2 is here! 9 brides continue with their best advice. And whether you’re just getting started or have been planning for a while, take a couple minutes to learn from other brides who are currently planning their wedding. And feel free to share any thoughts or additional pieces of advice in the comments below!
Don’t sign a contract to rent out the Louvre for your wedding only three days after you got engaged. Because three months in, you might be just as happy with your parents’ back yard. I “planned” my wedding prior to getting engagement, meaning I had ideas and a budget in mind, telling myself I wouldn’t be a bride that got carried away with excess. Then when I got engaged, I wanted everything to be perfect and wanted to invite everyone. Half-way through planning at the moment, I’m back to wanting simplicity; there are a lot of highs and lows, but time seems to have helped me stick to our budget.
Try your best to finalize the date, DJ, photographer, and venue as soon as you can. Once you have that done the fun stuff begins. Be as diligent as you can throughout all your planning needs. Communicate with those you decide to have involved and with those you thought of but decided not to pursue.
Do as much as you can to prepare. Take classes, talk with other couples about their experiences, and discuss your excitements, worries, and fears about your wedding and upcoming marriage with your fiance.
We have both realized it is our day and as much as we want our family to be happy, ultimately it comes down to what we want and are comfortable with. So make sure as a couple you stay true to yourselves and family will understand :)
Tie in as much as you can that’s personalized to you as a couple. When Scott asked me to be his girlfriend, and again when he asked me to be his wife, he made me a picture book. (Both being teachers, this is only fitting!) So for the wedding, we are making coloring books for kids (and adults who love coloring too!) continuing the story Scott wrote.
Lots of people aren’t going to agree with you and your decisions. Take into account their relationship to you (second cousin vs. your mother) and how much your decision will impact them. If it’s not going to matter in 5 years, let it go. Table cloths? Let it go. Wedding vows (write yourself vs traditional)? Stand your ground. Ultimately, remember that this is a ceremony to celebrate the covenant to spend everyday serving each other. There’s a lot of joy to spread around!!!
Family drama comes with the wedding planning , it’s the truth.
Book and reserve things asap.
When you fall into the pits of wedding planning despair, all you need is to meet up with one close friend and watch how their face lights up as you share a detail or two about your venture toward marriage. Because if there is one thing I have learned, weddings are about community, not cake flavors.
Remember to enjoy your day. Many brides describe their wedding as a whirlwind, and you’re not going to be aware of, or even present for, every little thing that is going to happen. That’s exactly what a photographer is for! Whether it’s pictures of the dress while you’re getting your hair done, of your face when you’re walking down the aisle to him, or what your first kiss as a married couple looks like, your photographer has it covered. They will capture things you wouldn’t even think to notice, and that couple thousand will be more than worth it.
Don’t try to please everyone. You CAN’T! And in trying to do so, you may end up with things you don’t want, and there will still be someone (possibly even you) that is hurt that they didn’t get what they wanted. Remember to be gentle and tell them something along the lines of you value their opinion and love the idea but, unfortunately, while you would love to do everything for everyone, it just isn’t possible and you hope they understand. Oh, and tell them you love them and that you’re so grateful that they care so much about making this a special day for you and your fiance. Generally, people care the most that they have been listened to and heard and that they matter.
Make sure to communicate with your fiance. The two of you may have very different ideas and expectations of what your wedding (and marriage) should be. Do your best to involve your fiance in planning. This time is a great precursor to marriage. You learn how to work together through problems, finances, families and friends. Everything. If you can get through wedding planning together, your marriage will be off to a great start. Plus, this is his day too!
Something WILL go wrong. It doesn’t matter how much you plan, it won’t be perfect. But if you can accept that it will happen and that it’s okay, then your wedding WILL be perfect, because it will be yours.
At the end of the day, remember that the most important thing is that you will be married to the love of your life. No matter what happens, don’t ever forget that this is the reason you are having a wedding.
See part 1 of this article here: 9 Brides give their Top Advice Part 1
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I’m a Midwest wedding photographer based out of Duluth, MN. It’s about capturing the real moments in a unique and artful way. To talk, for questions, or more info, send me a message!